


Halfway There

by clonecept



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: AU, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-29
Updated: 2014-08-29
Packaged: 2018-02-15 05:52:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2218182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clonecept/pseuds/clonecept
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes it feels like it's the end of the road, but if you're lucky, someone will come along and convince you that you're only halfway there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Halfway There

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what I was thinking, publishing this. Proceed with caution because the prose is terrible.

Her worn boots brushed against the rough pavement as she made the long trek across, plodding along in the dead of night. The cars rushed passed, blinding her with their headlights and dust. She clutched the handbag tighter, pulling the strap back onto her shoulder.

Exactly at the midpoint, she paused, looking out over the water and the sparkling city lights that bled through the fog that was rolling rapidly in. Twinkling lights moved in the water, little beacons of hope that bobbed in the waves. Her hands gripped the orange rail as she looked down, peering at the dark murky waters of the unknown that lay below her.

The bag slipped from her shoulder and she let it drop to the floor as she bent down to rest her forehead against the cool metal. Her shoulders shook as she bit her lip, trying to hold back the sobs until they came full-force, like a tidal wave breaching over her.

She thought she knew what she was getting herself into but the last experiment… Getting in Aldous Leekie's bed was the worst decision she had ever made and now there was no escaping it. No escaping DYAD's omniscient presence, the watchful eye of the Neolutionists. She trembled against the rail, weighing the pros and cons, formulating them in a mental t-chart like the eugenicist that she was. The things that he made her do and the things that he did when she refused…

There was no where left to turn, no one to help her. She clenched her eyes shut and regained her resolve even as she choked back a sob and she climbed the rail.

"Hey."

She froze and looked over, searching for the voice's source.

"It's pretty cold, you know."

"What?" she asked, baffled by the appearance of the stranger who stood not more than five feet away from her, leaning casually against the rail, a blunt balanced between two fingers.

"The water," the stranger said, nodding down.

"I know." She squinted to get a good look at this stranger through the haze of her tear-filled eyes. Average height and a wardrobe of conflicting styles that somehow meshed into one unique look that matched the cacophony of dreadlocks, eyeglasses, and an easy grin. Somehow, she looked familiar. "What do you know of it?"

The stranger looked at her with a surprised tilt of her head. "Well, I've lived here my whole life, y'know. It's…" She trailed off with a shrug and an ironic smile. "But, I guess we all make our own decisions, eh?"

She frowned, perched on the rail, perplexed by the stranger. "Yes," she said with a sigh, relieved that even a stranger seemed to agree with her, "we do."

"So what's your reason?"

That was not what she was expecting. She contemplated it for a moment. "Work," she said with a shake of her head. "It's… complicated."

"Always is," the stranger quipped, taking in a long drag. "You're French."

"Yes." She wrinkled her nose at the unexpectedly earthy scent. _Marijuana, of course._

"You have any family?"

She exhaled slowly, looking down at the water with a humourless laugh. "Are you trying to convince me not to jump because I have family?"

The stranger shrugged, nudging the skateboard under her feet. "No, but I think that you must be feeling pretty lonely to be here in the middle of the night."

"Perhaps." She pushed the hair of her eyes. "But it is irrelevant."

The stranger's eyes snapped to hers, calm but intense at the same time. "Is it?"

She frowned. Who was this stranger who thought it was their business to disagree with her?

"I'm just saying," the stranger said, waving her hands harmlessly in front of her, "things have got to be pretty shitty in your world for you to want to do this." She gestured to their surroundings.

"Yes well, things are 'pretty shitty'," she said.

"Yeah? So what happened?"

She hesitated.

"I mean, if you're going to jump, you might as well let someone know why you're jumping, right?"

She swallowed at the knot in the throat. "I suppose," she said, warily. Her knuckles turned white as she gripped the rail.

"Relax, I'm not going to ask you to climb back. Just… tell me."

She sighed. It was absurd that some stranger was chatting her up while she hung off the side of the Golden Gate Bridge, but… then again, why not? "It's my boss," she said slowly. "I… I'm being blackmailed by him."

Brows shot up in surprise. She bit back the sense of satisfaction in that.

"Well, it was part of an… arrangement. I… recently refused to uphold my part of the agreement. So… He's threatened to fire me, spread rumours unless I… do something unethical." It sounded so petty when she said it outloud.

"I'm sorry. That's pretty complex."

They fell into a silence, listening to the cars whoosh by and the wind whistle against the cables.

"So what are you going to do?" the stranger asked, her curious eyes wandering over to her.

She shook her head. "It doesn't matter. What is it to you, anyway?"

The stranger frowned, exhaling slowly. "You matter."

She laughed at that. "I don't matter to anyone, least of all some stranger that I've met on a bridge."

"You sure about that?"

"Positive."

The stranger sighed, bowing her head and the dreadlocks hung forward, obscuring her face for a brief moment. "You matter to me," she repeated, looking up with a fierceness in her eyes.

"No, I don't," she laughed at the absurdity of it. "I am not worth mattering to people."

"That's what they all say," the stranger said heatedly, tossing the joint over the side of the bridge. She watched as the glowing ember faded into oblivion. "But you know, you don't get to decide that, do you?"

"What do you mean?"

"You don't get a say in who cares about you, it just is."

"But no one —"

"I do!"

She flinched as the stranger yelled at her. Her heart broke as she saw the genuine distress on the stranger's face. That was her fault, it would be better if she stopped leaving these marks on everything she touched. Her grip slipped just a little.

"Please don't," the stranger said, her voice soft, plaintive.

"Why?"

The stranger bit her lip. "Because if you did, they I wouldn't have anything to look forward to in the morning."

"Quoi?"

"You pass by my coffee shop every day at 8 o'clock."

This is truly absurd, she decided. "You work at a coffee shop?"

"Well, no, I study in one though. Right by the window."

Her memory jogged, the pieces fell into place. Of course.

"You study biology."

The stranger suddenly grinned, her eyes brightening with excitement. "Yeah, well, Evo Devo."

"Evo…?"

"Evolutionary development. Trying to get my Ph.D."

She laughed at the irony of that. "Evolutionary development? And you're trying to convince me to not jump?"

"Well…" the stranger gave a small grin and shrug, "yeah. Is that a problem?"

"It's… certainly absurd."

The stranger tilted her head, her eyes thoughtful. "And hanging on the side of a bridge having a conversation about not dying with a stranger isn't?"

She looked around her. "It is, a little," she admitted quietly.

"What is your name?" the stranger asked.

She hesitated. What was the point in hiding, anyway? "Delphine."

A smile slowly spread on the stranger's face. "Delphine," she repeated, testing the shape of the vowels and consonants on her tongue.

"What is yours?"

The stranger looked at her with a mischievous glint in her eye. "If you get down from there, I'll tell you."

"I'll think about it," she said noncommittally.

"I know someone who was in your situation once," the stranger said distantly. "Suspended from her job, fiance was cheating on her, the whole she-bang."

"And?"

The stranger glanced up at her meaningfully and then looked away, shaking her head, blinking back tears. Delphine's heart clenched at the near palpable pain in the air.

"What was her name?" She leaned forward to catch the name that floated from the stranger's lips.

"Beth." The whisper trembled like a frail leaf in the wind.

She lowered herself from where she was balanced on the rail. "Who was she to you?"

The stranger watched her climb down with a look of pained relief. "She was my twin." She held out a hand and Delphine reached for it.

Delphine smiled tremulously, squeezing the hand as she let her boots touch the firm concrete sidewalk. "What's your name?"

"Cosima."

"Enchantée, Cosima."

Cosima grinned. "Enchantée."

**Author's Note:**

> Randomly, this Titanic-esque scenario popped into my head but I'm too lazy to refine it, so I'm basically publishing the first draft. I'm really not happy with it but I don't feel like doing anything else with it. The conclusion is really... anti-climactic.


End file.
